they came again,
they same kind
the ones i stare continuously at
the ones that their aura repels me as much as it attracts me
my heart started racing,
they fear came
now like never before
it hit me.
i maybe allowed it.
but i was scared
i broke my promise to myself
that never again will i be scared
they took something of me
i can only pull myself aware from their power by typing this blog.
i am scared
i know it deep inside
i saw them.
i don’t know how to be not scared.
I’ve loved poeple
and I’m scared they’ll steal them away.
either way I’m hurt.
if i forget them, will they leave?
will i ever forget them?
they bring these emotions i have fought hard to keep inside those cold dark walls of my mind.
i can’t control my trembling body
i was suppose to be in control
i was never suppose to be the victim
i told myself i will keep remembering that they are the victm
they have given up any control whatsoever they had
they have fallen into the wretched hands of despair
i have told myself that
now I’m telling myself again..
i have felt the fear
the emotions pushing through all the boundaries of reason i have
there are so much to bear
was the concept or foundation of humanity not built on freedom?
must i be in chains to be free?
they are dead..
yes they are
but remembering these duplicated line is not enough..
i fear nothing is enough
i fear for my mother
i see her fears when i see them
i see her trembling
i see what she prays i shouldn’t become a part of
i see the well of despair she prays will be swallowed up by my existence.
the world makes her scared
her being scared makes me scared
i wish there was another way
God’s plan remains a mystery
you can’t beg God to destroy another.
no you can’t…
i don’t want to be afraid
then i think being human is to be afraid
fear is proof of the presence of evil lurking behind every entity in this world..
i detest in
but it is too late
it has fallen in love with i.
this is for anybody
this is for nobody
this is from me
this is i not being in control of these emotions.